Dear Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt,

I think my husband has a serious problem and I need some advice on what to do. It all started a few years ago when he met someone at a race wearing a t-shirt from an event called The West Highland Way Race. It turned out that it was an event where people ran 95 miles in one go! I couldn't believe it when he said he wanted to take part. I thought it was a phase and it would pass. But it hasn't. The addiction has just got worse over the last 8 years. He spends a lot of time on the internet reading blogs and watching videos and even meets other people to share experiences. I think they just encourage each other.

I've also found strange items of clothing in our bedroom. He recently bought some Skins and frankly I think they're obscene. They leave nothing to the imagination. I've also noticed that some items keep going missing from the fridge and cupboards. He says he needs to eat chicken and potatoes and even baked beans for breakfast. I'm at my wits end.

Do I have grounds for unreasonable behaviour? Can he be cured? What should I do?

Yours

Running Widow



My dear Running Widow,

You have my deepest sympathies. This is a very serious addiction called Ultra Running and I'm afraid there is no cure. I'm sorry to be so blunt. There is an organisation called The WHW Family that gives excellent support to both runners and their families but once you are part of it there is no escape.

You have to embrace the lifestyle your partner has choosen. All your friends will be connected in some way to this event. You will find Outsiders do not understand and will judge you for standing by your man. You may even lose contact with some of them. Weekends and holidays will be arranged around races and training. If you want to see your partner you will have to be brave and go with him. Some Ultra Runners are lucky in that their partners know about their condition before they get married and so have a choice. But it sounds like you married a lardy bum who became addicted later on. That must be tough.

The food issue is very important to Ultra Runners. During an event, some are known to mix baked beans with chocolate milk, rice pudding and Jelly Babies. So eating chicken or potatoes at breakfast is quite mild.

You sound like a special person. Your husband needs love and support. He cannot do it without you. Make yourself invaluable to him and you will have a bargaining tool if he becomes unreasonable. Help him to choose races in places like New York or Zurich so you get something out of it too. It won't be easy but it can be rewarding in the long run.

Good luck with the future

Love

Agony Aunt