Him: When I went to bed last night I had a nail on that toe.
Me: Hmm.
Him: When I got up this morning it was gone.
Me: What do you mean gone?
Him: It just wasn't there. I checked in the bed and on the floor and it's definitely gone.
Me: Uhuh. And what do you want me to do?
Him: If you find it save it for me.
Eeuww!
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Friday, 15 May 2009
Bad Wife
Hello! Is it that time already? You know, time to think, talk, plan, breath and eat the WHW Race. Time to tell tales, relaunch Blog Wars and generally get my own way for a few brief weeks because The Runner is pathetically grateful for my back up and support.
Blimey, I remember when there was only 1 ultra event talked about in this house. Now it feels like there's 1 a month! Tomorrow is the Cateran Trail and I am a Bad Wife. I put my foot down and said I did not want to give up another weekend to provide back up for yet another event. So what did The Runner do? He's roped in an old family friend who lives practically on the route and persuaded her to hang around for hours and supply him with coffee and jelly babies. I just hope he's not as rude to her as he is to me!
But I think I can live with being a Bad Wife. I've washed his running gear, baked a banana loaf and got Mr Tesco to deliver his beans, rice and jelly babies. I've got him a bottle of nice wine and a lovely bunch of flowers to take to his friend. I can go swanning round the garden centre and have tea and cake in the cafe with a clear conscience. Or at least I hope I can.
Blimey, I remember when there was only 1 ultra event talked about in this house. Now it feels like there's 1 a month! Tomorrow is the Cateran Trail and I am a Bad Wife. I put my foot down and said I did not want to give up another weekend to provide back up for yet another event. So what did The Runner do? He's roped in an old family friend who lives practically on the route and persuaded her to hang around for hours and supply him with coffee and jelly babies. I just hope he's not as rude to her as he is to me!
But I think I can live with being a Bad Wife. I've washed his running gear, baked a banana loaf and got Mr Tesco to deliver his beans, rice and jelly babies. I've got him a bottle of nice wine and a lovely bunch of flowers to take to his friend. I can go swanning round the garden centre and have tea and cake in the cafe with a clear conscience. Or at least I hope I can.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Nice to Cannes Marathon Part Une
I wasn't planning to write in this blog again for a while but like the title says we ventured into France for a marathon. So many things happened to us over the weekend I felt it merited a blog post!
We set off on Friday morning with our good friends The Doctor and his wife The Lady Doctor to visit The Runner's brother (Cool Dude) in Antibes. Now if you're not familar with French geography, Antibes is halfway between Nice and Cannes. It's a very beautiful part of France where the rich and famous flock in their thousands. Cool Dude had informed The Runner earlier this year that there was a new marathon being held. It was a perfect opportunity to catch up and also run in a new event.
Edinburgh was dull and dreich when we left. We landed at London City to catch our connecting flight to Nice only to find that it had been cancelled. No problem we thought. We're flying with British Airways, they'll look after us. Nuh huh! After being told it was a technical problem (ie probably not enough passengers on the flight!) we were informed we would be sent to Heathrow and put on a flight from there. They couldn't guarantee us seats or that the flight would wait for us. We then had to wait for other passengers to arrive and discover the same news. This was when the fun began!
As we were waiting a French couple arrived. To say that they were not happy was an understatement. At first they were both yelling in English and French at the guy on the desk, then at the poor girl who was to escort us and then at each other. Bizarrely, although they were French they spoke to each other in English. All six of us were put in a very nice leather seated chaffeur driven people carrier. The French guy sat in the front and spent the entire journey on his phone to BA Customer Support Services.
The driver took us through the centre of London past every major landmark in the city. It was fantastic (although we only saw the back of Buckingham Palace!) Between The Runner (who worked in London for a year) and the French lady (who had lived in London for 12 years with 'er 'usband) we had a commentary of where we were. The French lady turned out to be quite entertaining but could talk for Britain (and France!) The Runner and The Doctor began to amuse themselves by texting each other while The Lady Doctor and I listened to her. Meanwhile in the background 'er 'usband was yelling at a succession of 'well trained robots.' At one point he yelled 'You are not too busy. I can 'ear laughing in the background. Stand up from your seat and look for your supervisor.' By the end of the journey he had gained a £50 voucher off his next flight. He dramatically announced 'I shall be putting it in the bin.' His wife said 'It's ok, he's 'alf Italian.'
We arrived at Heathrow in one piece and in time. Unfortunately the check in woman was really snotty. No, we couldn't get any compensation, no we couldn't sit in the Executive Lounge (It's not policy!), no she didn't know or care why our flight was cancelled and no we couldn't sit together as the flight was full. No, we didn't like her either. And yes the French/Italian guy was complaining at the check in desk!
The flight itself was ok (I'm not a good flier) but I was sandwiched between 2 French guys (father and son) who didn't want to sit together but spent the whole flight talking over me! It's shocking how 5 years of school French is totally useless in the real world. I managed to speak a few words (like agreeing that announcements should also be in French) but was completely stuck when they replied to me. My feeble 'Je parle francais un peu mais je ne comprende pas quand vous parlez vite' elicted a response in near perfect English from the younger guy. Strangely I can read French newspapers/signs/instructions and get the gist and I can read a menu no problem. I just can't speak the damned language.
Since we were on a later flight, Cool Dude was able to pick us up. This saved us the embarassment of trying to get a taxi although The Lady Doctor speaks pretty good French so it might have been ok. So all 4 of us plus our luggage squeezed into his Renault 5 and set off for our adventure in France.
We set off on Friday morning with our good friends The Doctor and his wife The Lady Doctor to visit The Runner's brother (Cool Dude) in Antibes. Now if you're not familar with French geography, Antibes is halfway between Nice and Cannes. It's a very beautiful part of France where the rich and famous flock in their thousands. Cool Dude had informed The Runner earlier this year that there was a new marathon being held. It was a perfect opportunity to catch up and also run in a new event.
Edinburgh was dull and dreich when we left. We landed at London City to catch our connecting flight to Nice only to find that it had been cancelled. No problem we thought. We're flying with British Airways, they'll look after us. Nuh huh! After being told it was a technical problem (ie probably not enough passengers on the flight!) we were informed we would be sent to Heathrow and put on a flight from there. They couldn't guarantee us seats or that the flight would wait for us. We then had to wait for other passengers to arrive and discover the same news. This was when the fun began!
As we were waiting a French couple arrived. To say that they were not happy was an understatement. At first they were both yelling in English and French at the guy on the desk, then at the poor girl who was to escort us and then at each other. Bizarrely, although they were French they spoke to each other in English. All six of us were put in a very nice leather seated chaffeur driven people carrier. The French guy sat in the front and spent the entire journey on his phone to BA Customer Support Services.
The driver took us through the centre of London past every major landmark in the city. It was fantastic (although we only saw the back of Buckingham Palace!) Between The Runner (who worked in London for a year) and the French lady (who had lived in London for 12 years with 'er 'usband) we had a commentary of where we were. The French lady turned out to be quite entertaining but could talk for Britain (and France!) The Runner and The Doctor began to amuse themselves by texting each other while The Lady Doctor and I listened to her. Meanwhile in the background 'er 'usband was yelling at a succession of 'well trained robots.' At one point he yelled 'You are not too busy. I can 'ear laughing in the background. Stand up from your seat and look for your supervisor.' By the end of the journey he had gained a £50 voucher off his next flight. He dramatically announced 'I shall be putting it in the bin.' His wife said 'It's ok, he's 'alf Italian.'
We arrived at Heathrow in one piece and in time. Unfortunately the check in woman was really snotty. No, we couldn't get any compensation, no we couldn't sit in the Executive Lounge (It's not policy!), no she didn't know or care why our flight was cancelled and no we couldn't sit together as the flight was full. No, we didn't like her either. And yes the French/Italian guy was complaining at the check in desk!
The flight itself was ok (I'm not a good flier) but I was sandwiched between 2 French guys (father and son) who didn't want to sit together but spent the whole flight talking over me! It's shocking how 5 years of school French is totally useless in the real world. I managed to speak a few words (like agreeing that announcements should also be in French) but was completely stuck when they replied to me. My feeble 'Je parle francais un peu mais je ne comprende pas quand vous parlez vite' elicted a response in near perfect English from the younger guy. Strangely I can read French newspapers/signs/instructions and get the gist and I can read a menu no problem. I just can't speak the damned language.
Since we were on a later flight, Cool Dude was able to pick us up. This saved us the embarassment of trying to get a taxi although The Lady Doctor speaks pretty good French so it might have been ok. So all 4 of us plus our luggage squeezed into his Renault 5 and set off for our adventure in France.
Thursday, 18 September 2008
Closure
At last we have closure. 2008 is not a write off as far as ultra running is concerned. Words cannot describe the shadow that has hung over the summer since that day in June. Of course The Runner just had to go out and attempt something even more extreme than the WHW. What could be more extreme than running 95 miles up and down mountains? How about running round and round and round a loop for 24 hours?
I snorted into my tea on Monday when a very tired Runner declared that he felt calm and in control all last week. Oh really??? I'm afraid poor Beardie (and later The Pastor) got a bit of my thoughts on the calmness after holding my tongue all week! Even Mr Race Director got a blast of my 'I'm never doing back up again for That Man!' rant before the race. I'm so sorry guys!
Anyway, what can I say about the race that hasn't already been blogged about? Eh, The Runner ran round a loop. Then we saw him again after the next loop. Then we saw him after another one. Yep, it was dull and boring for me. Have I mentioned the rain yet? I was soaked from the start of the race until I went home for a few hours sleep. Apparently it was a lovely evening after I left Perth. Typical!
About 20 seconds before this photo was taken I was told to 'Fuck off and stop fucking annoying me.' How calm is that? 
Oh look! He stopped running round and took a drink from us. Mostly he just took stuff from the official table so Beardie and I had no idea what he was eating or how much. I brought most of the food back home me including the untouched fruit loaf that was sooo important that I stayed up on Thursday night to bake!
I snorted into my tea on Monday when a very tired Runner declared that he felt calm and in control all last week. Oh really??? I'm afraid poor Beardie (and later The Pastor) got a bit of my thoughts on the calmness after holding my tongue all week! Even Mr Race Director got a blast of my 'I'm never doing back up again for That Man!' rant before the race. I'm so sorry guys!
Anyway, what can I say about the race that hasn't already been blogged about? Eh, The Runner ran round a loop. Then we saw him again after the next loop. Then we saw him after another one. Yep, it was dull and boring for me. Have I mentioned the rain yet? I was soaked from the start of the race until I went home for a few hours sleep. Apparently it was a lovely evening after I left Perth. Typical!
About 20 seconds before this photo was taken I was told to 'Fuck off and stop fucking annoying me.' How calm is that? -
Oh look! He stopped running round and took a drink from us. Mostly he just took stuff from the official table so Beardie and I had no idea what he was eating or how much. I brought most of the food back home me including the untouched fruit loaf that was sooo important that I stayed up on Thursday night to bake!
Beardie with his pasta and magic knife that has a fork, spoon, corkscrew, turkey baster and hair dryer all-in-one!!
-
Prize giving with nobody spewing or fainting in sight
Before, during and after the event many people told me I was a saint and that he couldn't do it without me. Damn right! This time I have been pushed to my absolute limit. I'm looking forward to many months of entertaining and partying at weekends since there are no training runs or big races to eat up my weekend. And if anyone even dares telling The Runner about some crazy new ultra event they've found, I will hunt them down and poke them in the eyes with my Brittany Birches!
Enjoy your winter training and cross country events. I'll see you all again next year!
Ali x
Sunday, 14 September 2008
Warning!
This is what your feet will look like after running 72 laps of a 1 and 1/2 mile loop. Total distance 106.74 miles! Do you think it's worth it? I know someone who does!Monday, 1 September 2008
Big tent, little tent
On the left is the teeny wee tent The Runner took to Coll for the half marathon. It kept him cosy and dry throughout the night and most importantly didn't blow away. It's a 2 man tent but the 2 men would need to know each other VERY well as it's a bit on the small side. On the right is something a bit bigger!
This tent is humungous! I wanted a family tent that you could stand up in and have plenty of room for all the stuff you inevitably need when you go on holiday. The Runner was dispatched with these instructions and duly returned with this 6 man tent. He was extremely pleased with himself as he scored a bargain. Original price was £275. He bought it for £45!
As you can see it's got plenty of room inside. Ideal for the 24 hour race in Perth on the 13th. The 3 separate bedroom pods means all the lovely people who have offered to help me with the back up can have 40 winks comfortably. It's also got loads of room for changing if it's wet and space for food prep. In fact it's so big we're thinking of hiring it out for weddings, christenings and bar mitzvahs! Reasonable rates on application!!
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Devil report
Look at these 2 happy chappies! It's 5.30am and Mr Race Director was raring to go. I, on the other hand, was still half asleep and went over on my ankle minutes after I took this photo!Weather conditions were good at 6am as the race started. Cool with a slight breeze. The Runner and I went for a leisurely cooked breakfast in The Green Welly which was open specially for the race. Beardie, Hippy Chick and Allyski had to dash off to make sure they were at Bridge of Orchy in time for Mr Record Holder.
We arrived at Inveroran where we had arranged to meet Mr Race Director in plenty time to see the front runners run down the hill. The Runner thought some people were a bit fast but everyone looked comfortable enough. By this time the midgies were starting to appear. We wished everyone luck through our midgies hoods.
Next stop was Kingshouse where we met with Sonic and his Laydee with a Baby. By this time it was starting to rain. It was windy and cold. But the midgies didn't seem care. They were out in force. Sonic bravely drank a coffee I made him that ended up being half coffee/half midgie! The Runner ran up the path to met with Mr RD. Later he said Mr RD was looking good but by the time they reached me he was "having a bad patch." We poured lots of Coke, 'suicide gel' and banana into him and sent him on his way.
45 mins later we met him at the bottom of the Devil's staircase. He looked and felt much better. The Runner changed into his running gear and they both set off up the hill.
I drove on to Kinlochleven and noticed that my ankle was starting to really ache. I parked in the usual place and set up the wee stove etc to heat the soup and water for coffee. The Runner planned to have some (tinned)soup here. Most cans now have ringpulls on them and the beans, spaghetti and tomato soup cans I brought all had one. However, the chicken soup didn't. Undaunted I got the tomato soup ready to heat and then sat in the car, not expecting them arrive for ages. M&M stopped briefly for a chat but the midgies were horrendous so he kept on moving. He was running back to Kingshouse.
Just as I was thinking there were about 20 mins before my runners appeared I got out to start warming the soup and making coffee. I got out the car to find The Runner approaching. They were ahead of schedule. Mr RD was running well despite being at the back of the field. They set off in good spirits with the sweeper and I was left to clear up. By the time I left Kinlochleven I was the only car left. Even the officials had left!
As I left the town my phone went crazy. I hadn't had a signal since Kingshouse so the 5 texts and 3 voice messages, from people wanting to know how it was going, all arrived at the same time. I pulled into a layby as I knew I would lose it again by the time I reached Lundavra. Beardie had left a message to say that Mr Record Holder had finished in a new record time. 5 hours 22 mins for 43 miles!
As I drove up to my favourite(!) place at Lundavra I knew that my ankle needed some medical attention. I took my shoe and sock off (big mistake) to find that I had a tennis ball sized puffy lump around my joint. I raided my first aid kit and sprayed it with freeze spray. Didn't work. I tried to put a Tubigrip on it but it was the wrong size. So when The Runner and Mr RD arrived we quickly changed the plan. Mr RD set off with the sweeper and The Runner took me to A&E at Fort William.
Fortunately, I was seen very quickly. An x-ray ruled out a break and I was bandaged up in plenty of time to see Mr RD finish in a fantastic time of 10 hours 45 mins. Well done! Just look at the determination as he crosses the finish line with 5 other runners behind him.
Tired but happy!-
It really was a pleasure to provide the backup. He's much nicer and is more appreciative than The Runner at checkpoints!
After the race there was much talk about the 24 hour race in Perth. It looks like a few runners are planning on being there. I guess I should start practising putting up the new tent The Runner bought for his base!
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